Whatever it is, doctors/scientists/politicians definitely aren't it. Something about working within the boundaries of the system is really unattractive to me
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I mean okay sure. Yes this is true. However there's still a meaningful distinction between "self taught self funded researcher" and "phd student grant to run a study" and this is the thing I'm trying to allude to
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I lived between harvard and mit for a while and was really excited to finally talk to a lot of really intelligent people.
Except turns out it's mostly filled with kinda smart people who are extremely good at following rules and completing tasks. I was really disappointed