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More and more recently I've been brushing up against angry trad twitter. It's not enough for them to prefer monogamous, traditional, sexually conservative relationships, they also want *you to do it too*, and then believe you must be secretly miserable if that's your lifestyle.

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

I don't get why "brains and preferences are super different" isn't a sufficient explanation, like they can't imagine some people just genuinely are happier with a different arrangement. Their starting assumption is that different = bad and if you claim otherwise you're lying.

1:52 AM · Oct 16, 2020

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I have to imagine it's the new secular religion. A lot of lifestyle arguments end up turning into clashes between cults.

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I think you could more charitably say that the presumption is that it’s statistically unlikely that non traditional arrangements will work for you. If they do, then hooray! Good for you. But the presumption is that that’s unlikely.

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I sort of think it's the same distinction? That "should be able to transcend" still is in the class of "your brain is like mine" to me. I agree it's a different twist but I don't consider it meaningfully different.

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It's a weird rabbit hole to crawl down.

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I think the Steelman version of this argument is that these alternate arrangements fail 19 times out of 20, people don't know themselves well enough to make an informed decision , and generally normalizing this behaviour will encourage others to emulate it.

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and

Also their values might come with a universal framework of right and wrong - and so coupled with praising / rewarding behaviours they see as right, they are compelled to punish / criticise behaviours they see as wrong I didn't know divorces were contagious, but makes sense...

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and

I'm having trouble but I'm pretty clear on what the problem is, and sex work isn't that - people being ok with sex work is one of the earliest and easiest criteria.

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