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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Marriage is sometimes awful! I sometimes think people who are elevating marriage have never known a really terrible person who used "marriage is good, divorce bad" cultural messaging to trap someone into a hellscape of a marriage. Marriage is not sacred! If it's bad, leave!!
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Do not try to push through at all costs. Some costs are too great. Don't expect to change your spouse. Stand up for yourself. Divorce is actually an out that you can take if your partner is genuinely awful, or if you want a better life.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
I'm remembering how "marriage is sacred don't give up" messaging actively prevented my mother from escaping her abusive husband. That messaging can be extremely dangerous and instead I wanna hear "marriage is amazing, keep at it, but sometimes it's not worth it"
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
The actual message should be an in between that's flexible enough for circumstance - "if marriage is awful, if your partner is a toxic pos, leave! But if they're a good person, then try to stick with it, especially if you have kids" is a message I support
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