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I don't really – I select a variety of scenes and then facebook friends happen:

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Aug 18, 2020

After long immersions amidst rationalists, Spaniards, artists, hippies, hipsters, start-up people, New Yawkers, academics, memers, monks, and small town machismos I now feel like I have the weirdest possible discourse style and it makes online dating hard.

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(Our profound cosmic bond was also the result of this process)

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Hmmm

I come up blank when I think of potential mates for you bc I don't know your emotional/romantic side very well. Is this side different in mode of being/demonstrative preferences that the side I normally interact with? (Feel free to DM)

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Idk how people describe that? I am generally highly compartmentalized, and am extremely different around sexual partners than I am around nonsexual partners. This sort of seems irrelevant for choosing partners though? Why do you ask?

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Wait wait wait why would this be irrelevant??? I ask because generally when people are compartmentalized and I don’t know their compartments well, I’m bad at successfully curating things they’ll find valuable

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Ohh maybe I misread? You're asking about selection preferences that might be less apparent? Prob I'm obligate kinky maybe? But besides that I think the general "be similar social status to me and have seriously pursued annihilation" goes a real long way

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Pursued annihilation?

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Like uhh, self deconstruction in totalist kind of way, becoming one with death, complete surrender. They don't have to *be* annihilated but I appreciate a drive for it

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Cool that’s a model update

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Out of curiosity, why don’t you hang out more in Buddhism-adjacent or new vajrayana circles if this is what you’re looking for?

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Maybe that would be good? I habe the intuition (and some experience) that people in those circles tend to be really seeking, or getting something out of a structured, more religious type experience, who are looking for an authority system to guide them down the path

4:38 AM · Oct 12, 2020

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That’s why I said “adjacent” and “new” Vajrayana in particular. These sorts tend to be less like the way you describe, which is more of a sutroc stance IME. Have you looked into

@Meaningness

’s or

@_awbery_

‘s writing on vajrayana? Good starting points