My brain's behavior around attraction and mate selection is very confusing to me, probably intentionally so I can't figure it out and then hack it into letting me have more sex. But basically, 'confidence' is a huge one, along with lots of special accidental shit-tests to see 1/
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So I'm really *really* sensitive to a thousand tiny things around a guy, and worse, even if nothing is a 'bad signal' I still am worried that a bad signal will pop up that I haven't seen yet, and tend to wait a very long time to make sure it's 'safe' to proceed. 7/
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Tbf the men I'm most attracted to have social groups that would be barely impressed at all if he slept with me, where I'm an 'equal' to him and his life, where he could sleep with other girls on my level but is uniquely drawn to me due to unusual compatibility 8/
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And this might end up being just the typical trashy erotic novel/teen romance movie scenario, where the high powered/wealthy/successful man notices something special in the female protagonist and clearly sexually wants uniquely her for something non-sexual about her being. 9/
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I'm a little embarrassed to realize that this is basically my fantasy, though I'm more interested in 'equal' than 'better' man. But also I'm personally am very weird and have weird preferences in men on top of this so honestly i think im probably fucked for mate selection.
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addendum: For all yall saying 'obvs this is basic', I know - but this is *new(ish)* for me; I used to be a happy slut nbd or care. It's also exacerbated by my internet popularity, which is new. I also think my gut reaction is mismatched to actual threat.
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That's super baked into cultural conditioning for women - a form of "defense" similar to virginity/chastity. Not without some truth, but like... You can "conquer" them, too. Why does it feel 1-way?
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I historically have been pretty good at initiating or propositioning. I haven't met a guy recently who I felt excited enough to initiate on tho?
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I wish I had something deep or intellectual or hilariously funny to reply to this Aella, but damn, sounds a total head fuck. If you like someone just go for it. Dating in america sounds way too complicated. In Scotland it's more of a "he/she seems nice, I'll give it a go"
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Im always suspicious of anyone attracted to me. I mean, clearly there's something wrong with them...
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I'd learn a lot from you as a person, plus I stiffen up at every post of yours on your naked Twitter. Plus as things warm up this week, we can enjoy your air conditioning…
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