I've noticed that when I get high I tend to frequently have unpleasant emotions surface that I don't usually feel or think about nearly as strongly and it only just occurred to me to wonder if that was normal and why it happens
Am I repressing these things usually?
-
Show this thread
-
For example, I sometimes find myself REALLY missing and longing for exes, or intense guilt related to the impact I might have had on their life But when sober I accept things the way they are and don't feel those things nearly as intensely
2 replies 0 retweets 14 likesShow this thread -
One of my self-management coping strategies when I get into those spaces is that sober-me doesn't worry about those things and this seems to help a little But I wonder if those emotions are more "real" or not than sober self since I'm in a less-controlled state
1 reply 0 retweets 16 likesShow this thread -
How would I know? And what should I do? Mostly I want this to not happen when I get high because it's really unpleasant to be in these states
2 replies 0 retweets 13 likesShow this thread -
An example of this is last night when I was a little high I was feeling REALLY lonely and missing my ex-husband's presence It was so hard not to text him and I didn't feel like I had anyone I could reach out to about it But I knew that would be bad for both of us
1 reply 0 retweets 13 likesShow this thread -
And not what I really want (I think--seems more like missing familiar comfort than real intention) I don't know how to avoid this happening
2 replies 0 retweets 10 likesShow this thread -
It was so intense I was briefly entertaining a fantasy of going back to Portland just to be near him and begging him to be friends with me again even if we can't be romantic partners... But I KNOW this is not a good idea and bad for both of our ability to move forward
2 replies 0 retweets 9 likesShow this thread -
How to integrate these things?
6 replies 0 retweets 9 likesShow this thread -
Replying to @liminal_warmth
I relate to having bad things felt much more strongly while tripping. There seems to be a really important divide between resisting and submitting to the grief; if you do the former then you might get traumatized or do regrettable things. Submitting to it seems more peaceful.
1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
Usually submitting to the grief is a distinct shift for me. I'll be looking for a way to make the grief stop, a bit subconsciously, like I don't want to look directly into the pain, and this usually looks something like changing rooms or a sense of dread. When I finally realize
-
-
Replying to @Aella_Girl @liminal_warmth
What I'm doing, then submitting looks like full bodied crying and wailing that also has a sense of correctness with it, like I'm doing something sacred and holy
0 replies 0 retweets 7 likesThanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
-
Loading seems to be taking a while.
Twitter may be over capacity or experiencing a momentary hiccup. Try again or visit Twitter Status for more information.