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Remembering the first time I worked up the courage to ask a guy out (to approach instead of being approached). He used to work in a cafe across the street from my flat. The feels had me in there buying coffee bi-weekly and I *can't* even drink coffee

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Results from my research project on personality traits and mating success.

1. You're filtering as much for dark triad traits as for benign confidence, especially in any MeToo-able situation like coworkers or coeds. Dark triad guys are not easy to spot, and when they approach you they are in control of the frame, not you.

putanumonit.com

Do Women Like Assholes?

2. A guy's confidence is important, but if you only wait to be approached you're making that the main filter constraining your mating options. No matter how attractive a guy is otherwise, he's out of reach if he doesn't approach you first.

And if you say "well, I'll make the first move if he's really all that" consider that approaching people is very hard and takes practice. The first time you try it you'll be a nervous wreck, especially if your first time is talking to a guy you're completely smitten with.

3. Are you sure you don't want to approach first just because it's scary and hard? "I want only confident guys" is a convenient excuse keeping you from expanding your comfort zone and understanding your fears and insecurities. Asking someone out is never not memorable.

If you don't ask guys out you're missing out on: 1. All the wonderful guys who are just shy or scrupulous or so into you they get nervous. 2. Finding out what you're really made of ;)

Aella

@Aella_Girl

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