I don't get how offending someone means you're supposed to apologise. You can genuinely, compassionately acknowledge that you caused pain, that this is an undesirable side effect of your expression. But causing offense does not automatically equate to wrong behavior.
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Very often the pain you cause to other people is worth the benefit, and that is important to recognize and protect. Taxes, protests, mocking religion, are all examples of "good" offense - clearly we don't view causing pain as uniformly a bad thing!
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I'm not sure it's just a matter of "worth", since that makes it sound too manipulative. I don't just apologise because otherwise I would face a net social loss, I also do so when I feel like I've violated my own rules or standards of behaviour somehow.
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I agree, though, that without at least an intent to avoid repeating the mistake, the apology is worthless and pointless.
End of conversation
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