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Aella_Girl's profile
Aella
Aella
Aella
Verified account
@Aella_Girl

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AellaVerified account

@Aella_Girl

whorelord http://aella.hns.to 

Austin
knowingless.com
Joined September 2012

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    1. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 1 Sep 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl @sonyasupposedly @acidshill

      and it's also kinda hard to describe how in the same way it's hard to describe how rationality is useful on an intuitive or 'grokking' level. It gave me the ability to become much more aware and ongoingly accepting of myself in connection with others

      1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
    2. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 1 Sep 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl @sonyasupposedly @acidshill

      which sounds maybe simple or elementary but i've been circling for 2 years and i'm still constantly learning important things about myself every time I do it

      1 reply 0 retweets 6 likes
    3. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 1 Sep 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl @sonyasupposedly @acidshill

      also i am generally extremely allergic to all sort of hippie interpersonal feelings oriented stuff. I don't like authentic relating games, or anything structured, or any of those burn workshops where you feel into your body and pair up or whatever. I friggin hate that. willies.

      1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
    4. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 1 Sep 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl @sonyasupposedly @acidshill

      but circling *accepts* me hating that. I can loudly, aggressively, express how much I hate it, and I have total freedom to push back against any of it inside the circle. And I often do! It's weirdly the *safest* feeling activity I've done - it accepts all of me

      2 replies 0 retweets 11 likes
    5. Sasha Chapin‏ @sashachapin 1 Sep 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl @sonyasupposedly @acidshill

      i feel like i should say, after hating on it, that i actually think circling is really good for the people it's good for, i have seen the positive emotional effects it can have, i just have an allergic reaction to it for reasons i can maybe semi-explain

      1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
    6. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 1 Sep 2020
      Replying to @sashachapin @sonyasupposedly @acidshill

      yea i also wanna say I don't think circling is for everyone, some ppl just don't jive with it, get it, enjoy it, or learn from it, and that's totally fine - it's vaguely similar to psychedelics imo. but also interested in hearing the semi explanation

      1 reply 0 retweets 5 likes
    7. Sasha Chapin‏ @sashachapin 1 Sep 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl @sonyasupposedly @acidshill

      any structure designed to make me feel free and expressive typically makes me feel un-free and muted -- i understand social freedom to be not "no constraints" but "mutual understanding that constraint violation is fine, but they're still there to riff on and default to"

      1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
    8. Sasha Chapin‏ @sashachapin 1 Sep 2020
      Replying to @sashachapin @Aella_Girl and

      alessia once told me, when we were dancing at the luna loft, to "loosen up" -- but my jerky movements were my looseness, goddamn it seems related, along with my feeling that the nude photo shoot at the castle, while fun, was also kind of hokey

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
    9. Sasha Chapin‏ @sashachapin 1 Sep 2020
      Replying to @sashachapin @Aella_Girl and

      by "no constraints" i just mean "no normal constraints," i understand that circling has its own constraints, and i do think there are arguments to be made for them

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
    10. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 1 Sep 2020
      Replying to @sashachapin @sonyasupposedly @acidshill

      the impression i get out of this is something like; a deep suspicion that people are lying to themselves; trying to get somewhere; holding an ideal version and judging what's not that without owning it; top-down modification of interaction being flawed cause it's top-down?

      1 reply 0 retweets 3 likes
      Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 1 Sep 2020
      Replying to @Aella_Girl @sashachapin and

      like; if circling wanted to do itself in our conversations then it would have been done already; thus circling does not want to do itself, and trying to do what does not want to be done is artifice?

      9:22 PM - 1 Sep 2020
      • 7 Likes
      • acid shill smug bitch dog rat Divia Eden Sasha Chapin 🐍 Critter 🐉 bosco 🎀 sonya supposedly 🤖
      2 replies 0 retweets 7 likes
        1. New conversation
        2.  🎀 sonya supposedly  🤖‏ @sonyasupposedly 1 Sep 2020
          Replying to @Aella_Girl @sashachapin @acidshill

          idk how well this comports with Sasha's experience / feelings but my revulsion to this is mostly based on a gut-level belief that induced intimacy is dangerous or it's probably just personality and that's my rationalization, which is kinda the same anyway

          2 replies 0 retweets 6 likes
        3.  🎀 sonya supposedly  🤖‏ @sonyasupposedly 1 Sep 2020
          Replying to @sonyasupposedly @Aella_Girl and

          like I don't want to do the thing that circling seems to be for in the first place, and I don't trust most people (including most though not all of my actual friends) with this kind of rawness

          1 reply 0 retweets 1 like
        4. Show replies
        1. Sasha Chapin‏ @sashachapin 1 Sep 2020
          Replying to @Aella_Girl @sonyasupposedly @acidshill

          this is in the neighborhood of what i can't yet explain even to myself -- i think the manufacturing of a variety of sincerity maybe leaves out things i think of as intrinsically human and crucial to the way i communicate my own experience and others'???? or smthg???

          0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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