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Conversation

I'm tryin to figure something out so here's a bunch of words as I try to work through it: Sometimes, people talk in a group as though they are speaking a podcast at you; I call it 'podiuming'; they have interactions with you not to have a discourse, but rather as a bouncing-

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off to sort of 'get out' what they wanted to say. This can be great if done well and the person is interesting, and annoying if they don't. It's like they're giving a speech. Lately, I've been noticing that all the people I find to podium are men, and I'm reorienting to -

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viewing podiuming as a masculine activity because of this. This is weird! But then I was listening to a lady talk and she was doing basically the same thing - taking up a lot of space, not "doing discourse", getting a lot of information off her chest, but the feel of it was-

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really different. She mentioned emotions and sensations far more, she was careful and complimentary and a lot of her speech was much more positively valenced. She was talking about some way of interpersonally seeing the world. And I'm confused about a few things - one,

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Why do I feel like podiuming is male, and that she wasn't podiuming, even though she was doing a lot of similar things? Podiuming usually annoys me. She also annoyed me a lot. I felt viscerally repulsed by her words.

mentioned this sounded like archetypes -

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they were both doing the same type of role (e.g., parent), but with extremely different directions (e.g., father/mother). Maybe it's just more infrequent for women to podium? Maybe my sample size is just really low so I'm tryin to spin patterns out of not enough data? -

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Regardless, I've definitely started noticing more gender differences in conversational behavior lately. Men tend to be more aggressive/space taking, and women tend to... i'm having a lot of 'i don't like women's tendencies' feelings when writing this tweet rn. -

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I think I feel much less safe around women. I think I anticipate they're more likely to kick me out of groups or not listen to what I say or make decisions based on interpersonal tides rather than something consistent. I wonder if this is true or just my own biases?

7:37 AM · Aug 31, 2020

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And I'm not just asking that question - I am legitimately open to this being my own biases. If you think it's actually true and not a bias thing I'd like to hear how you also seriously evaluated it being a bias yet came to the opposite conclusion.

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In a group of women they all tend to agree on a decision unanimously and that gives them power in unity. That means that what individual woman says she wants is highly context dependent.

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In general, men get to fight physically, women socially.

Giulio Giacomo Cantone

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It's true because you are an over average attractive woman. Is the same reason why less than average assertive men prefer to interact with women.

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I think it's not controversial to say that from early childhood, girls' social interactions tend to have more complex rules than boys'. If boys have beef, they fight to sort it out, but girls play way more nebulous games involving lying, talking behind backs, spreading rumors

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Is this not falling into the "feminine minds are less rational than masculine minds" trope? "Soapboxing", regardless of gender, never comes across as conducive to discourse. It's kind of a opinions/assholes thing that just pushes everything contradictory away.

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I think men (in many cultures) are more tolerant towards women, so that a woman’s controversial opinions are less likely to turn the men against her. I think that this has something to do with sexual attraction. By being more tolerant, males increase their chances of sex.