one of the *worst* conversational moves i've ever seen is when someone goes "Oh that's not what I meant" and the response is "Why would you say that if that's not what you meant?"
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Although I have said things that people misunderstood. They weren't as intelligent as we are though.
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indicates a naive perspective on communication, subjectivity, and interpersonal relationships in general imo
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They are trying to defuse and the other person won't let them. Creates an explosion because the live grenade hasn't been thrown. Person holding it is forced to double down or else wave their arms and desperately reframe everything by sacrificing 100% of their short term integrity
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I think it sometimes takes sense to say something akin to that if you're really sure someone is doing a bad faith motte and bailey thing, but the vast majority of the time I see something like that said it's someone deciding they don't want to understand what was meant to be said
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? It's actually often quite difficult to say what one means, even truer in certain emotional states.
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