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When I was younger, I was much more aggressive, conservative, and hostile. I once asked someone a 'debate' question around a touchy topic, ready to fight; she responded neutrally, well-considered, and asked gentle, clarifying questions. That snapped me out of it - permanently. 1/

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Aug 21, 2020

In witnessing someone just patiently take my attack and not attack back, it radically shifted my perspective on what discussions could be like. I suddenly saw that I'd been holding a 'war' mentality, not a 'discover truth together' mentality. 2/

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

This happened years ago but I still vividly remember everything about this - the building, the chair I was sitting in, the direction I was facing. It was a really important change for me, and I now feel compelled to do the same thing for others, if I can. 3/3

7:57 PM · Aug 21, 2020

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(p.s. this was my introduction to the rationalist community)

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Sounds like you shifted from thinking like a sports fan to thinking like a scientist. H/t to

@waitbutwhy

. Reading this clarified soooo many things for me. Getting other people to make that transition is hard. Any ways that you have found effective? waitbutwhy.com/2019/09/thinki

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and

Just, doing it. Doing it gently and consistently. Giving ground when you might be wrong, refusing to show hostility to their viewpoint, being open and malleable by them while maintaining a steady curiosity and self-doubt. Just demonstrate it.

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Not someone on twitter? Seems worthy of named praise!

The Outsider Humanist

@TheOutsiderHum1

Aug 21, 2020

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@Aella_Girl

Thank you I <3 this thread to pieces.

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That's how I try to look at things sometimes its hard to be peaceful though

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This is super inspiring. Sometimes I’m great at this and sometimes I suck, but it’s definitely something I always aspire to.

Idan ("eden") Solon ("sew-lin") (

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Be specific?

Bluesky …. Ich habe genug..

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So lovely to read.

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I'm a huge fan of steelmanning and asking questions myself, I'm curious how people got to their frameworks and how those frameworks may address various situations.