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When I was younger, I was much more aggressive, conservative, and hostile. I once asked someone a 'debate' question around a touchy topic, ready to fight; she responded neutrally, well-considered, and asked gentle, clarifying questions. That snapped me out of it - permanently. 1/
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This happened years ago but I still vividly remember everything about this - the building, the chair I was sitting in, the direction I was facing. It was a really important change for me, and I now feel compelled to do the same thing for others, if I can. 3/3
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I say Focus instead of Discover Truth Together but yeah
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I have a simple philosophy: everything is War, the only opposite of War is Focus, & meaning is found only in the memory of periods of Focus.
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I think this is beautiful, and a version of it is what has bothered me about how you discuss the people you've been calling "infected". You seem genuinely surprised that they hate people for having different views than them. I read that as an extreme sort of "war" mentality.
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Yeah, we are primed to see debate as a spectator sport, with winners and losers and that's wrong. If I have a discussion with someone and that person reasons me to change my opinion then I'm the real 'winner', because I'm the one who've learn a something new.
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Cool to hear this even works, because it is always what I try and do. The more pointedly someone goes at me in a discussion, the more neutral and factual I try to get. Except if I smell full-on bad faith and an absolute unwillingness to even reconsider, then it's friggin ON