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Aella_Girl's profile
Aella
Aella
Aella
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@Aella_Girl

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AellaVerified account

@Aella_Girl

whorelord http://aella.hns.to 

Austin
knowingless.com
Joined September 2012

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    Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 21 Aug 2020

    When I was younger, I was much more aggressive, conservative, and hostile. I once asked someone a 'debate' question around a touchy topic, ready to fight; she responded neutrally, well-considered, and asked gentle, clarifying questions. That snapped me out of it - permanently. 1/

    12:57 PM - 21 Aug 2020
    • 99 Retweets
    • 1,142 Likes
    • Yo ariel 🤘🏼 #FreeNicki E.A Swan Ronson 🅴 Ammarbarowd Nathanial Henderson Sach Holden Rob Pugh
    31 replies 99 retweets 1,142 likes
      1. New conversation
      2. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 21 Aug 2020

        In witnessing someone just patiently take my attack and not attack back, it radically shifted my perspective on what discussions could be like. I suddenly saw that I'd been holding a 'war' mentality, not a 'discover truth together' mentality. 2/

        7 replies 43 retweets 665 likes
        Show this thread
      3. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 21 Aug 2020

        This happened years ago but I still vividly remember everything about this - the building, the chair I was sitting in, the direction I was facing. It was a really important change for me, and I now feel compelled to do the same thing for others, if I can. 3/3

        10 replies 12 retweets 447 likes
        Show this thread
      4. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 21 Aug 2020

        (p.s. this was my introduction to the rationalist community)

        9 replies 2 retweets 265 likes
        Show this thread
      5. End of conversation
      1. apartheid clyde apologist‏ @jimjonesjunior 21 Aug 2020
        Replying to @Aella_Girl

        It's amazing how much better you can get your point across when communicating it calmly. Doesn't always work, but it sure seems better than coming into every discussion with your hackles raised.

        0 replies 0 retweets 5 likes
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      1. Eeps‏ @eeps_30 21 Aug 2020
        Replying to @Aella_Girl

        With you all the way on this. This mindset is something that I see severely lacking in.... Well, people in general sometimes. We can work together, instead of perceiving others' genuine curiosity as threats.

        0 replies 0 retweets 4 likes
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      1. Alycia Lee‏ @aylycia 21 Aug 2020
        Replying to @Aella_Girl

        This is a general truism - we respond adaptively. But I do wonder whether for most people in the modern age identities don't just become more entrenched and the sort of combativeness you identify with 'youthful naivete' is actually getting culturally reinforced now

        0 replies 0 retweets 8 likes
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      1. weston civilization‏ @guituary 21 Aug 2020
        Replying to @Aella_Girl

        I had similar experiences that stick with me. The sting of shame of being the one lacking facts and being too convinced of my position permanently made me less sure of myself and more willing to hear counter arguments, and less likely to judge people for being "wrong."

        0 replies 0 retweets 9 likes
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      1. Tim Portantno‏ @TimPortantno 21 Aug 2020
        Replying to @Aella_Girl

        Neutral, well-considered, gentle clarifying questions are just the best debate strategy. You got played. Seriously though, if you attack positions and not people, then all you're doing is helping them refine their own arguments and ideas, rather than in some kind of conflict.

        0 replies 0 retweets 2 likes
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      1. New conversation
      2. Paul Crowley‏ @ciphergoth 21 Aug 2020
        Replying to @Aella_Girl @EpistemicHope

        If they're comfortable being named I'd love to know who this was!

        1 reply 0 retweets 7 likes
      3. Aella‏Verified account @Aella_Girl 21 Aug 2020
        Replying to @ciphergoth @EpistemicHope

        she is currently in a monastery, which might tell you who it is if you know enough about the community

        2 replies 1 retweet 47 likes
      4. Show replies

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