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I feel like there's a specific type of "don't want me but we actually do have chemistry" that can be hot. The vast majority of people who don't want me (or who I don't want) are just cases where we're both aware we're not compatible, and there's nothing sexy it for us.
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I imagine being wanted online and in person are very different experiences. Not hot to be wanted online because there is no subtlety, no vibe. Hot to be be wanted in person if it's subtle, ambiguous, mysterious.