Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
Brains are SUPER variable, and people's experiences/values/processing can differ so much you just gotta be like 'okay man I don't get it but I believe you.' On the other hand, we often lie to ourselves really thoroughly and it's good to be skeptical of others self reports. 1/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
The balance can be really hard to find, and erring on either side is bad. Too much "I believe you" and we can end up fueling harmful cultural lies; too much skepticism and we end up disregarding important experiences and making people feel uncared about and alone. 2/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
We should tolerate some level of skepticism. If someone reports an experience that does *not* match with what you expect, it's ok to doubt it! Just be very aware that crazier reports have ended up being true, and be open to changing your mind. 3/
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
This happens to me a lot with conservatives when I talk about sex work. They can't believe I'm okay with it, that I'm not secretly deeply traumatized. And their doubt is totally fine! It's ok to be skeptical of what I report. I just wish they'd be aware that they might be wrong.
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Herman
@XtopherJarrod
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I’m currently reading Kindly Inquisitors (recommendation by
@HPluckrose
), and it has the most helpful definition of “fundamentalism” I’ve heard: The disinclination to consider the possibility that you are wrong. In that sense we’re all more or less fundamentalists on some things.
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Floidberg
@floidberg
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
It's an ancient/persistent problem- false negatives are less expensive than failing to identify negatives Is that a stick or a snake? Very expensive to wrongly guess stick What's worse? Traumatized woman left uncared for or untraumatized woman wrongly categorized?
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