Brains are SUPER variable, and people's experiences/values/processing can differ so much you just gotta be like 'okay man I don't get it but I believe you.'
On the other hand, we often lie to ourselves really thoroughly and it's good to be skeptical of others self reports. 1/
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The balance can be really hard to find, and erring on either side is bad. Too much "I believe you" and we can end up fueling harmful cultural lies; too much skepticism and we end up disregarding important experiences and making people feel uncared about and alone.
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We should tolerate some level of skepticism. If someone reports an experience that does *not* match with what you expect, it's ok to doubt it! Just be very aware that crazier reports have ended up being true, and be open to changing your mind. 3/
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This happens to me a lot with conservatives when I talk about sex work. They can't believe I'm okay with it, that I'm not secretly deeply traumatized. And their doubt is totally fine! It's ok to be skeptical of what I report. I just wish they'd be aware that they might be wrong.
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