Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
Quarantine is getting surreal with more frequent punctuations of grief and loneliness. I live alone in a bad area where it's uncomfortable to go outside. I'm focusing on onlyfans which is a roller coaster of dopamine and fear. I am trying to plan for my future but I don't know if
37
261
Aella
@Aella_Girl
this income is going to last. I'm both extremely grateful and trying to remember not to be attached, that this might all vanish. I'm not exercising, my eating is getting sporadic. I'm losing weight. I'm having increasing brain fog and fatigue and inability finishing tasks.
6
102
Aella
@Aella_Girl
I feel like a weird cog in a dream machine, like I've been here forever. Last night I saw a man get nearly arrested outside my window for racing an empty moving van. The closest homeless encampment caught on fire. The tenan is gone now but his stuff is still there in muddy ashes.
2
109
Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@PstafarianPrice
I like a lot of the people here, but there's very few friends I have that I can spend a lot of time around without low-key background stress, and none of them are in the bay.
4
6
Show replies
Tanuj Bhojwani
@tanujb
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Hey
@Aella_Girl
thanks for saying this out loud. I thought this solitude is what I always needed to finish my book too, but it isn't. I don't think this is going to get better soon. But we still gotta do what we do.
2
Grant♟️
@granawkins
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Great that you shared. Sending strength your way. Get a routine going. In April I was feeling awful, and going for a long walk first thing in the morning (no music/podcast) has done wonders.
Chad Miller
@TastyChad
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
You're eating potato chips and losing weight... That is weird. We're living in one of those moments when we realize that we won't go back to the way things were before. That soaks the present in a melancholy that drenches our future hopes and plans in a fog of anxious apathy.
1
1