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Quarantine is getting surreal with more frequent punctuations of grief and loneliness. I live alone in a bad area where it's uncomfortable to go outside. I'm focusing on onlyfans which is a roller coaster of dopamine and fear. I am trying to plan for my future but I don't know if

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

this income is going to last. I'm both extremely grateful and trying to remember not to be attached, that this might all vanish. I'm not exercising, my eating is getting sporadic. I'm losing weight. I'm having increasing brain fog and fatigue and inability finishing tasks.

7:54 AM · Aug 2, 2020

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I feel like a weird cog in a dream machine, like I've been here forever. Last night I saw a man get nearly arrested outside my window for racing an empty moving van. The closest homeless encampment caught on fire. The tenan is gone now but his stuff is still there in muddy ashes.

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Aug 2, 2020

I'm really lucky in so many ways, but I'm losing my mind. I keep getting ants. 50% of my diet is potato chips. I want to start writing my book but I am waiting for the day my brain stops feeling like it's smothered in mud. This is all so weird.

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I really feel for the people that are really depressed in this quarantine. And if they are isolated with hardly no one to talk to. Especially with the elderly people. Sometimes a simple hello or have a nice day can go further than people realize... 😞😣

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I learned the hard way that vitamin b deficiency can cause brain fog. In my case it was cause of long term vegetarianism, but only chips might do it too. Not a panacea, obviously depression doesn't help either, but may be worth looking into.

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Hey Aella. If there's any support I can offer as a fellow sex worker, please let me know. I get that it can be super emotionally challenging. Sorry to hear you're struggling.

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