They should have asked what your intentions were first. Also some people will just do that regardless of things otherwise
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Overreacting to potential violations of your norms signals that you take those norms very seriously. Getting mad is relatively low cost, this could be rational! It's not specifically about you, it's about the group setting expectations with itself.
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Yeah. I think my difficulty is that I don't know how to 'fix' this. When I explain that my intentions aren't harmful, they don't believe me. When I point to everything I've written as evidence, they say I'm trying to 'logic my way out.' It's really confusing, how they operate.
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Lesson one: Don’t talk about what you’re going to do before you do it. Lesson two: Generally, people are going to think the worst because it’s what they fear the most. Particularly when they have no power to stop you. Lesson three: Groupthink doesn’t change it’s mind.
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"don't expect people to model you well" I'm continually relearning this and slowly getting better at it.
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Also, never in the history of humankind has there ever been a gap between one's stated ideals and their actions. Never before has someone betrayed their ideals to cash in on personal benefit. Good grief.
End of conversation
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"Don't be ominous about possibly exposing things that are very personal and affect the livelihood of people who otherwise don't have much power" could be another lesson. If you need to say "But if you knew me you would know I would never" then it was too ambiguous.
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If people were generally nice then I guess people would almost always give you the benefit of the doubt, but as it is, especially sex workers have every reason to be suspicious of people trying to "expose" them, don't they?
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We're all one sentence away from pissing someone off. The real question is 'what was the intent?' but it won't matter anyway. Interpretation is winning over facts.
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