Are trans women, women? What is a woman? It's a cluster of traits that's reappeared so often that we recognize it as a pattern. These traits are all over the board - physical, behavioral, mental. Nobody has the perfect set of all 'woman' traits, but we recognize 'womanness' 1/
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But generally, this is the frame I use to understand people who say "trans women aren't women." They're trying to communicate that there's a gap in their pattern recognition, and that this gap is meaningful. And - sometimes it is meaningful, in that it has concrete impacts!
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As in; maybe you want to have a group centered around support from being sexually pursued as a woman from an early age. Unfortunately, most trans women don't have this experience, and so the gap is meaningful. There's also meaningful gaps in medical fields.
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I think what some people who are saying 'trans women aren't women' actually want is for meaningful gaps to be acknowledged. I do think that if you said "ok sure there are some differences" they would really lighten up and be way more open to actually supporting trans people.
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not every trans woman wants to pass. suggesting this as the obvious goal & (presumably) state-sanctioned site of intervention betrays a serious lack of understanding of the breadth of trans experience. i'm sympathetic to some of your reasoning, but this is the wrong conclusion.
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a more reasonable conclusion is to note, as you start to in the thread, that many cis women fall just as far from the "woman" cluster, but rather than insist on a particular line inside of which "woman" is sanctioned, just give up on policing the term.
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