just saw a reddit thread where they're like 'if you're forbidding your partner from masturbating, that's religious brainwashing!' but in the same breath being totally fine with forbidding your partner from pursuing other things they might want even if it damages nobody at all.
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I was trained, by all the people around me doing the same thing, that this is *what i do*. and if I'd deviated from that there would have been repercussions - I wouldn't have been able to find a partner (everyone wanted good housewives), and I also would have been upset with me.
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If I'd entered into a marriage, 5 years later I would have realized 'actually, oh god no. this is horrible.' I'm saying this is the case with monogamy - people are groomed for it and internalize it. My culture was toxic for expecting me to deny myself for others.
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