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just saw a reddit thread where they're like 'if you're forbidding your partner from masturbating, that's religious brainwashing!' but in the same breath being totally fine with forbidding your partner from pursuing other things they might want even if it damages nobody at all.

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Just because YOU wouldn't be damaged by it, doesn't mean no-one would be damaged by infidelity. It literally breaks up families. Also there's a difference between "I forbid that" and "If you do this I'll leave you." People are allowed to have bounderies.

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If someone can't stay in a monogamous relationship don't enter into one. There are people who are polyamorous you could be with instead. There are ways to sleep with multiple people ethically and entering into a monogamous relationship and lying to your partner isn't one.

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I'm not saying people should lie and cheat - I'm saying it's a norm to expect your partner to agree to deny their own needs in order to make you happy, and if they fail then you get mad that they're lying and cheating. This is toxic.

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Believing it's toxic to expect people to be honest when entering relationships and being mad when they're not is such a strange take that I do not understand at all.

Aella

@Aella_Girl

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@Balgus82

No, that's not what I'm saying. Like, I was raised extremely religious. I was raised to be a housewife. I was going to be a housewife because that's what ppl did. My morals were aligned with this. This was Good. But it was conditioned into me by society.

3:54 PM · May 12, 2020

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I was trained, by all the people around me doing the same thing, that this is *what i do*. and if I'd deviated from that there would have been repercussions - I wouldn't have been able to find a partner (everyone wanted good housewives), and I also would have been upset with me.

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If I'd entered into a marriage, 5 years later I would have realized 'actually, oh god no. this is horrible.' I'm saying this is the case with monogamy - people are groomed for it and internalize it. My culture was toxic for expecting me to deny myself for others.

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