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just saw a reddit thread where they're like 'if you're forbidding your partner from masturbating, that's religious brainwashing!' but in the same breath being totally fine with forbidding your partner from pursuing other things they might want even if it damages nobody at all.

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Such as?

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having sex with other people

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Can you imagine saying this about a relationship that had a similar approach towards emotional intimacy? "We're not forbidding each other from not having any friends, we've just voluntarily agreed to both give up other friends"

3:02 PM · May 12, 2020

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Addendum: This isn't me saying cutting out everyone but your partner is a good or healthy choice or something I would do myself. Just saying that if both people (not just one) voluntarily (not coerced) do it, then that's just the dynamic that works for them and it's fine.

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Yeah, except like 50% of people admit to being unfaithful at some point - so this is a default voluntarily arrangement that somehow doesn't actually seem to be fulfilling what people actually want

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If BOTH parties VOLUNTARILY agreed to give up other friends, there's nothing unethical or immoral about that. That's what older gens did, more or less. They focused all their energy and reliance on their partner. We just have more options now, so the concept seems silly to us.

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and

Right, but platonic friendships don’t result in babies, and people generally want to be confident whose babies are whose, so I think there’s an explanation for monogamy that’s less shaky than the taboo on masturbation, which really does just come down to religious nonsense.