whenever i debate with christians i end up regressing to my old christian self and start quibbling over specifics of theology instead of actually talking about if christianity is real or not.
i'm vaguely aware when it's happening but it's so hard to stop. it's like this force comes over me and the calvinist bursts out of me like AKSHUALLY GOD DID HARDEN THE PHAROAHS HEART while the rest of me is quietly in the background going 'god isn't real this is irrelevant'
i mean i am god, obviously, but the god they're talking about is this mythological figure with very specific preferences and properties and I don't think that thing exists