I have a weird story and I want to know if anybody else has experienced something like this. I've taken MDMA a few times, it's been awesome. At 2018 Burning Man, I took MDMA and it was awesome, but the comedown was a nightmare. As it wore off I became overwhelmed with intense-
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anxiety and crazy thoughts. I thought everyone hated me even though I knew that was silly. I laid the entire night without being able to sleep because the anxiety was too strong. It was absolutely horrible. Well into the next morning, still without having slept, I finally-
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drank some water (without knowing it I'd gotten *extremely* dehydrated), and then belched MASSIVE belches. Immediately after belching the anxiety vanished and I was totally fine. I slept and got back on with my festival. That was weird. Ok but here's where it gets weirder
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Months later, on December 8th, I was drunk after a wedding and going to sleep. As I was going to sleep, I causally remembered that I was planning on doing MDMA the next day. With that thought came this massive wave of anxiety again, it took me hours to get to sleep. But this time
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it took a year before it fully went away. It was just this ever-present, acausal lump in my chest that was *always* there, couldn't be reasoned with, I had no idea what was going on. And it was always relieved whenever I belched. I started drinking fizzy water to help-
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induce belches and thus alleviate my anxiety. Nowadays I'm almost entirely back to my old levels of chronic chillness; but still, whenever some acute thing sparks even a little anxiety in me, I start belching. I don't understand why this is. Does anyone else have this??
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The "belch+anxiety" thing only started after that original bad dehydrated comedown. I think maybe it threw off some... digestive balance that regulates stress? Or something? Do I have a bacterial overgrowth that threw my chill out of whack? Why the fuck does belching fix it all?
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Replying to @Aella_Girl
i have something like this. don't really know what's going on. fwiw my honest slightly wacko opinion is you picked up some nasty emotional gunk at burning man from the weird environment (and i think i did too)
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Replying to @QiaochuYuan
I am generally very pro "emotional things that happen affect you in weird ways" but also I am pro "maybe digestive things also affect your emotions" and I think evidence is pointing to the latter in this case.
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as in like, i've never once encountered something that maps onto this. Like, processing childhood trauma around abuse did not take this form; it was 'accessible' in some way, like in my mind I could tell that there was an *experience* I'd had that was responsible, even if I-
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @QiaochuYuan
didn't exactly know why it was responsible or how I related to that experience. But it was a shape in my head, like "Yes, something around that made me feel weird." This belching thing has zero shape. It's the only anxiety to have zero shape.
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Replying to @Aella_Girl
hmm maybe
@meditationstuff will know things he's done a lot of diet stuff at least1 reply 0 retweets 1 like - Show replies
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