26+ I've been nonsexual online, as probably most of you following me have found. I don't post porn, I post 'weird questions' and 'sometimes essays.' I've found moving out of sex work has increased the amount people take me seriously, which I sort of didn't expect. 8/
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Maybe this is naive, but I'd been immersed in the sex work world for so long and from such an early age that it just seemed default to me and I wasn't ashamed of it and wasn't treated worse because of it. So quitting camming and watching my "reputation" or whatever get better 9/
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was pretty weird. Suddenly verified accounts were following me, and I was getting requests to be on good upstanding podcasts. But now, I'm in a position now where financially, it makes sense for me to start returning to sex work (Onlyfans). This has put me in a weird spot. 10/
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I suddenly am *afraid* of reputation loss for sex work, which is bizarre because this sensation is new. I'm afraid of being dismissed or taken less seriously. I'm uncomfortable because sex work requires some level of suspension of authenticity that now feels very- 11/
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incompatible with the very unfiltered way I am on twitter and my blog. It feels weird to be so open about myself now and also to be making money off my body and an exaggerated sex drive. I don't really know how to handle this - my confusion is showing up in inconsistent- 12/
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pricing and messaging around my Onlyfans content. I don't know how explicit to be, how dirty to make the talk. I have faith I'll figure this out, but right now my experience around the upstanding Aella and the sex-worker Aella is disjointed and really weird. /end.
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(also sex-worker Aella would like to remind you she has an onlyfans https://onlyfans.com/aella_girl )
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Replying to @Aella_Girl
Welp, one thing we can at least work out from all of this is that your parents' bootstrapping value system seems to have sunk in and worked out for you
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Replying to @SteveLolyouwish
I actually think I value more the fact that my parents unintentionally severed all their power over me by refusing to help me. I know a lot of people who still rely on their parents for a lot and it makes them less free.
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Replying to @Aella_Girl
I agree. They say the best gift you can give someone is independence. Would you say they refused to help you bcos they had a personal issue w you, or bcos they thought it was best for you, abt instilling such values? Experiencing at least some adversity, IMO, is very important
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Best for me, value installation, etc. They would often tell us how we'd be out on our own once we turned 18, to expect no help, they weren't gonna pay for college, etc. I definitely think if they'd helped me I wouldn't have gone into porn so I am grateful they didn't.
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