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When I left home and tried to go to college, I had to drop out because of financial reasons - my parents earned too much money for me to qualify for financial aid, but also wouldn't help me, and refused to cosign on any loans - they were very "use your bootstraps" people. 2/

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So I dropped out after 3 months and went to work at a factory. The factory sucked. I worked ~54 hour weeks on an assembly line, often waking up at 4:30 am. The factory had no windows and I would go days without seeing the sun. I was 19 years old. 3/

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After about a year of this I moved cities and vowed never to work for another boss again. I slept on a friend's couch and tried self employment through commercial photography. This failed (it was Idaho). I briefly dated a guy who introduced me to the concept of camming. 4/

I broke up with him, but needed money and decided to try being a camgirl. It was scary, but my first night I earned $60, which was extremely exciting. I kept doing it, sort of obsessively, and got very good. I started camming at 20 years old and did this for 5 years - 5/

through a lot of world travel, through doing a lot of acid (at 22). I was in a few documentaries and interviewed by Playboy, including performing at the Playboy mansion. I also used my audience to get into surveys and data analysis. Eventually I got hired by a crypto company. 6/

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Filled with inappropriate, deeply controversial, philosophical, and vulnerable inquiries, this deck of unusual questions will keep your night on edge and your relationships queasy.This is no casual...

I had to quit camming to work for the company, but I was burned out, so I did. From 25-26 I worked there but found out I had no idea how to operate in a "normal company" and was bad at it and didn't like it. I eventually quit, and helped found askhole.io 7/

askhole.io

Askhole: Open Up

26+ I've been nonsexual online, as probably most of you following me have found. I don't post porn, I post 'weird questions' and 'sometimes essays.' I've found moving out of sex work has increased the amount people take me seriously, which I sort of didn't expect. 8/

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Maybe this is naive, but I'd been immersed in the sex work world for so long and from such an early age that it just seemed default to me and I wasn't ashamed of it and wasn't treated worse because of it. So quitting camming and watching my "reputation" or whatever get better 9/

was pretty weird. Suddenly verified accounts were following me, and I was getting requests to be on good upstanding podcasts. But now, I'm in a position now where financially, it makes sense for me to start returning to sex work (Onlyfans). This has put me in a weird spot. 10/

I suddenly am *afraid* of reputation loss for sex work, which is bizarre because this sensation is new. I'm afraid of being dismissed or taken less seriously. I'm uncomfortable because sex work requires some level of suspension of authenticity that now feels very- 11/

6:13 PM · Apr 24, 2020

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incompatible with the very unfiltered way I am on twitter and my blog. It feels weird to be so open about myself now and also to be making money off my body and an exaggerated sex drive. I don't really know how to handle this - my confusion is showing up in inconsistent- 12/

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pricing and messaging around my Onlyfans content. I don't know how explicit to be, how dirty to make the talk. I have faith I'll figure this out, but right now my experience around the upstanding Aella and the sex-worker Aella is disjointed and really weird. /end.

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(also sex-worker Aella would like to remind you she has an onlyfans onlyfans.com/aella_girl)

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It's a reasonable fear, but for what it's worth the sort of LW/SSC rationalist crowd you appeal to as a person isn't likely to think less of you for doing sex work.

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i knowww i love them so much.

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> suspension of authenticity What does this look and feel like? What happens (now, if your following draws from a different pool?) if you *don't* suspend that authenticity?

sympathetic opposition

@sympatheticopp

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