sometimes you have to go all the way out to "the universe is fundamentally, irreducibly, precognitively, preconsciously made of love" just to be able to get to "i'm allowed to love myself"
Conversation
sometimes your desire to love and be loved is so strong it reaches all the way into your ontology to make itself heard
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sometimes it's so strong it tries to reach all the way into *other people's ontologies*
just
to
make
itself
heard
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(does this scare you? it scares me)
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sometimes you remember that the only times you feel properly alive are either on psychedelics or right after you have properly sobbed
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sometimes you have to go all the way out to "whatever immortal eternal being i / we secretly am / are that incarnated here and chose to suffer and be limited in order to learn something" just to get to "i'm allowed to have this experience exactly as it is right now"
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