Right, and I think this is getting closer to the heart of how my gender framework differs. For me, gender is much closer to a discrete category than anything else; I process the definition of gender as internally decided as inconsistent and nonsensical, like what does it mean?
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @orchidconjurer
when e.g. an afab nonbinary person tells me they're not a woman, im like... what does that even mean? You look like a woman, obviously. You act like one, people treat you like one. What does it mean to not 'feel like' one? How could you 'feel like' anything?
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Replying to @Aella_Girl @orchidconjurer
Or when someone 'feels like' a woman - what does that mean? Does it mean you want to wear women's clothes? Or have people want to try to have sex with you? Or that you want to have a vagina? All of those are ok - but I want to know exactly which one it is.
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but i sort of don't accept this. Like, I'm open to answers! But the problem is here there seem to be zero answers that are core to identity itself and not attached to signalling. If there can't be an answer to what gender identity feels like then I can't accept it as a concept.
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I don't understand what 'valid' means here
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I'm not saying it's a discrete and universal feeling, I'm saying I have no idea what it means
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