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Aella
@Aella_Girl
ok I think the thing about genderpeople that *actually* bothers me is that I feel not allowed to use my own gender framework around them. I honestly don't give a shit how they present, how deviant from gender norms they are, whether they wear makeup or a boy cut. (1/6)
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@orchidconjurer
Mostly be allowed to talk about it? Not that I have to interject it everywhere but when it's relevant/when it comes up. Like, for example my framework means that I feel dishonest when I use someone's preferred pronouns. I'm still willing to *do* it, it just results in that feelin
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
It's relevant when I have to use those preferred pronouns and feel funny about it. Ofc I don't actually say anything irl because I don't want them to feel bad. Just, ideally, I wish I wouldn't have to actively avoid letting them know how I feel.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Sure. If someone believes they have red hair when they have blonde hair, and they're very upset if you say they have blonde hair, then I'm happy to not bring it up or mention it. But my perception of them as having blonde hair is mine, and describing them as redhead feels weird.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Right, and I think this is getting closer to the heart of how my gender framework differs. For me, gender is much closer to a discrete category than anything else; I process the definition of gender as internally decided as inconsistent and nonsensical, like what does it mean?
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