Transphobic feels like a war, shutdown word at this point, like people use that word as some final accusatory label and then I'm expected to be 'oh shit you're right let me say the appropriate measures so you lift that terrible stamp".
I'm not actually afraid of trans people.
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My ideal world is unnecessary? I don't do the thing I stated in my ideal world, because my the current world is not oriented in such a way that people would understand what I was communicating. People are acting like I go around refusing to use pronouns - I *do not* do this.
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Oh it is for a reason - they want me to use a description (pronouns) for them that is contradictory to my experience of them. That feels weird to do for me. In my ideal world, I'd like to be able to talk about this being weird and the fact that I'm doing this *for* them.
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What's gained from it is a feeling of intimacy, openness, and honesty. I really value communities where people can be open about parts of themselves that are sometimes painful for others; it feels really beautiful and connective.
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Agreed. I don't say it. I am well aware that the world I'm in is not ideal. I don't want to hurt people.
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That's true! I have consistently advocated that other people do use preferred pronouns, for what it's worth.
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