Dude the online trans crowd is the most uncharitable, cruel group I've ever encountered. Had to block a hundred people calling me a piece of shit this morning.
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Transphobic feels like a war, shutdown word at this point, like people use that word as some final accusatory label and then I'm expected to be 'oh shit you're right let me say the appropriate measures so you lift that terrible stamp".
I'm not actually afraid of trans people.
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The word "transphobe" - like many other war words - are meant as a fast hard judgment label that shuts down further discussion. It's not a good word! I use preferred pronouns, tell other people to use preferred pronouns, and loudly support trans rights.
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it's not accusatory, it's simply stating the reality, you hate us, it only seems accusatory in your mind because you've already decided not to self-crit, you have chosen to do evil things and being called out for them is accusatory because you think your evilness is somehow good.