In my ideal world, they would say "Hey, my pronouns are they/them", and then I'd say "Nice to meet you! I process your gender as your birth sex and don't view you as nonbinary personally, but I'm happy to use your pronouns if that makes you more comfortable." (6/6)
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"in my ideal world, I invalidate other people's identity by rejecting it to their face despite paying lip service to it"
Weird ideals there.
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No, I'm being honest about myself and the way I view the world, and I try to make accommodations so that I don't hurt others who really want me to view them a certain way.
My sense of identity doesn't match up with the way others see me, often, but I'm okay with that.
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The way you view the world inherently invalidates their identity. There's a big difference between someone perceiving incorrectly as opposed to being directly told something from the source and rejecting it.
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I don't know how to update certain categories. If someone is constantly going to parties and around people 24/7 but tells me they're introverted, I can't just... *stop* viewing them as extroverted. I can view them as having a self-identity as introverted!
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How is it so much easier for you to say "I think all people exist in categories based on rules that are outside of their control and that it's my right to determine what those categories are" than "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you all, I'll think on this"?
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Because the thing that's happening right now is bullying; people are trying to *force* me to submit to their perspective. They're not reasoning with me, they're insulting me. I'm not going to enable their bullying, I'm gonna consistently look for reasonable arguments instead.
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No, fuck you. You are not being bullied, you are being told you HURT people.
Nobody who you have hurt is required to patiently, reasonably explain to you that they were hurt.
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It is NOT somehow a worse crime to "force you to submit to their perspective" than it is to tell people their identities aren't valid and you wish you could say so to their face in the most hurtful way you can manage.
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Bullying is when people pick on you for who you are. Not when they respond to you for the things that you say that have hurt them.
Demanding that they shut up and accept the shit you throw at them is bullying.
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I'm not demanding they shut up. I've literally never told anybody to shut up and have engaged in discussion with lots of people who aren't insulting me. Literally the people in my feed are actually directly telling me to shut up.