No - people saying the thought of gay marriage makes them feel gross and afraid, are being honest. Calling it an abomination is closer to idk, projecting? Storytelling?
Conversation
I feel like this is splitting hairs, but sure, fine. I don't want to change the focus here.
The point is that expressing your personal views can be very hurtful to people, and sometimes they are right to be hurt by you expressing your views.
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Not splitting hairs. Finding homosexuality abominable leads to social exclusion -- actually harmful.
, afaik, isn't excluding anyone from connection here.
It's ok if folks find her words hurtful. I disagree with blaming her for that hurt.
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Trans people are frequently murdered because of who they are, and even if they aren't, many of them basically experience "death by a thousand cuts" from the many parts of society who work to destroy their self-image and self-esteem so that they stop coming out.
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Even if she doesn't intend for her words to contribute to that hostile environment, that's exactly what they are doing. You can't just state your beliefs in a vacuum and expect it to not affect people who have to deal with an onslaught to their mental health all the time.
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What Im hearing is that some trans folks are so traumatized that atm that they don't currently have the capacity to engage in conversations that challenge their views on how gender works. Is that right?
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This sounds like you are placing the onus on trans people, as if they are obligated to engage people who constantly challenge their identity but are incapable of doing so. You phrase it like it's a standard political disagreement when it's directly addressing their identities.
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I don't think they're obligated to engage. They can ignore.
Thought shaming and threatening is atrocious. It leads to a less free society for everyone. There's no excuse to allow it.
We can counter thought shaming in a compassionate way. There's no need to get stuck on blaming.
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I hold two simultaneous opinions here.
The first is that, yes, ideally nobody would ever be sent death threats for stating their views. We should be able to engage with ideas respectfully, which ideally would lead to less defensiveness and more open-mindedness. HOWEVER.
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I feel like this is much easier to say when you're not constantly on the receiving end. There is an inherent power imbalance here that's also at work. Demanding the same amount of respect from both groups, who are going through very different circumstances, is naive.
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I've been in groups that are at the shit end of power imbalance before (women in a patriarchal cult, also sex workers), and afaik the power imbalance didn't affect at all the way I had conversations about it.
I should hope you were angry about it when you needed to be.
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