To me, expression is independent of gender, and your gender is completely outside of your control; it resides in the eyes of society. Gender *is* an assignment of society. And so when people expect me to view them as a gender I don't view them as, that just does not work.(4/6)
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I can't view them as the gender they want no matter how hard I try.
And to be clear, I still use preferred pronouns and try to do all the least upsetting things for genderpeople. I just am bothered by how afraid I feel to express the way I experience gender. (5/6)
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In my ideal world, they would say "Hey, my pronouns are they/them", and then I'd say "Nice to meet you! I process your gender as your birth sex and don't view you as nonbinary personally, but I'm happy to use your pronouns if that makes you more comfortable." (6/6)
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"in my ideal world, I invalidate other people's identity by rejecting it to their face despite paying lip service to it"
Weird ideals there.
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No, I'm being honest about myself and the way I view the world, and I try to make accommodations so that I don't hurt others who really want me to view them a certain way.
My sense of identity doesn't match up with the way others see me, often, but I'm okay with that.
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The way you view the world inherently invalidates their identity. There's a big difference between someone perceiving incorrectly as opposed to being directly told something from the source and rejecting it.
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I don't know how to update certain categories. If someone is constantly going to parties and around people 24/7 but tells me they're introverted, I can't just... *stop* viewing them as extroverted. I can view them as having a self-identity as introverted!
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okay so if a girl tells you shes bi but the entire time youve known her shes been dating 1 guy youd be like "youre allowed to think of yourself however you like but ur straight"
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if she were my friend and we felt safe with each other, id' be like "hey you're saying you're bi but i notice you have only ever expressed attraction to men the whole time i've known you, so honestly i sort of just register you as straight"
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but youd be fucking wrong? because youre operating with less info than your friend is. youve known her for only a while while she was in one relationship, shes known herself her entire life. she knows all her relationships.
thats why shes TELLING YOU, cause she knows better.
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Do you adhere to this philosophy any time anybody tells you things about themselves, or does it only apply with certain categories?
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do you always assume you know other peoples thoughts and feelings better than they themselves do?
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if its something personal then yes. i cant know anyones feelings, attractions, or gender better than they themselves do.
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