Some people I've talked to have siad I probably have this view on gender *because* i'm agender and can't conceive of gender identity? which i'm not sure is true
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So here's the thing.
If you process gender as birth sex, then why doesn't that apply to you? Why does that not give you a gender?
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I don't process gender as birth sex, I process it as whatever you pass as. I've occasionally met very passing trans people who definitely just are stuck as their preferred gender to me. For example nikkitutorials is 100% female in my head.
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Okay. That's not what you said in your 6th tweet of the thread, but moving on then - why does that not give you the gender of what you pass as?
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Yeah, sorry I should clarify. Most of the time this *is* birth sex, but that's not actually the totally defining one, it's just a correlate. I also want to thank you for not using that as a mean 'gotcha'.
And, it *does* give me that gender? I don't have a sense of gender-
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personally really, I register my gender as belonging in the eyes of others. The thing I pass as for others is what my gender is; when people ask me my gender, I say 'woman' because that's what people largely think I am.
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That's the problem, I think. Your idea and definition of gender is tied up with passing and outward appearances. That is not what gender is.
Gender is a part of who you *feel* you are. It's part of your identity, not your appearance.
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But see, I legitimately cannot understand that. That does not compute for me. I don't understand how anybody could possibly 'feel' like a gender, actually, deep down, away from society and stuff.
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It might be something you'll just have to accept, without fully understanding it. I will likely never understand feeling female because it's not something I will experience, but I can accept that other AMAB people do.
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So.... I am open to this and this is an ongoing discussion I'm down to have. My question here, basically, is "are people just not introspecting hard enough to see there is no felt sense of gender?" I don't now if this is the case or if their brains are actually-
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wildly different from mine. Both have been the case in regards to other ways I've been confused about things - for example I was very doubtful aphantasia was real for a while, but now believe it's a thing, whereas processing of trauma went the "actually yeah people aren't-
-introspecting hard enough" route.
I don't know which one this is. I suspect people aren't introspecting hard enough, or just that frameworks are kinda weird/unclear/unprecise and ironing them out would end up with all of us agreeing.
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