Conversation

Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦
@cmclymer
Honestly, the way some cis people obsess over the bodies of trans and non-binary people is weird to me. If you’re cis, you have preferred pronouns + a preferred gender expression and you expect folks to respect it. So do we. Empathy and respect are really not that complicated.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
ok I think the thing about genderpeople that *actually* bothers me is that I feel not allowed to use my own gender framework around them. I honestly don't give a shit how they present, how deviant from gender norms they are, whether they wear makeup or a boy cut. (1/6)
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@cmclymer
They're asking me to do something - refer to them with a pronoun that feels entirely counter to what my brain feels is an accurate descriptor. Which like, is fine - I'm willing to do that! I want them to feel good regardless of if it makes sense to me.
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Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦
@cmclymer
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
You realize by saying what you did in that thread--that non-binary people aren't really valid--that you're not making them feel good. That hurts. It's not okay. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but I promise it hurts people. So, why do it?
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@cmclymer
Like you, I value not hurting people. Also like you, I presume, I sometimes do hurt people. For example, telling racists to fuck off, hurts them. Sometimes, telling your partner during a fight you need to leave to cool off, hurts them. Hurting people is not the only factor.
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Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦
@cmclymer
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
Okay, you're trolling. If you want to be an enormous asshole to people and cruel like this to those who are already vulnerable, you have to live with that and clearly, it's not a problem for you. I think it's really sad to intentionally hurt people, which is what you are doing.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@cmclymer
I mean i widely advocate that people use preferred pronouns, and I always use preferred pronouns. I don't actually have the conversation about my relationship to gender when I meet enby/trans people, because I care about their feelings.
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