Conversation

Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦
@cmclymer
Honestly, the way some cis people obsess over the bodies of trans and non-binary people is weird to me. If you’re cis, you have preferred pronouns + a preferred gender expression and you expect folks to respect it. So do we. Empathy and respect are really not that complicated.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
ok I think the thing about genderpeople that *actually* bothers me is that I feel not allowed to use my own gender framework around them. I honestly don't give a shit how they present, how deviant from gender norms they are, whether they wear makeup or a boy cut. (1/6)
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@cmclymer
They're asking me to do something - refer to them with a pronoun that feels entirely counter to what my brain feels is an accurate descriptor. Which like, is fine - I'm willing to do that! I want them to feel good regardless of if it makes sense to me.
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Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦
@cmclymer
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
You realize by saying what you did in that thread--that non-binary people aren't really valid--that you're not making them feel good. That hurts. It's not okay. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but I promise it hurts people. So, why do it?
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@cmclymer
Like you, I value not hurting people. Also like you, I presume, I sometimes do hurt people. For example, telling racists to fuck off, hurts them. Sometimes, telling your partner during a fight you need to leave to cool off, hurts them. Hurting people is not the only factor.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
and
@cmclymer
I have a lot of religious people who love me, and I hurt them when I express my views on religion. I don't want to hurt them! I value them and I try to be kind. But I also really value my own expression and honesty to my own values too. It's a tough tradeoff.