If I can't tell, then I process them as 'neither gender', which I assume is closest to nonbinary. If they're a passing trans person, then I process them as closest to their preferred gender, and this doesn't change when I find out their sex.
So this becomes a different argument then - it's not about my view, it's about you worrying about the way other people would react to my view. That's an entirely separate discussion. I personally have always vocally advocated for trans rights.
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