If I can't tell, then I process them as 'neither gender', which I assume is closest to nonbinary. If they're a passing trans person, then I process them as closest to their preferred gender, and this doesn't change when I find out their sex.
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sure. this whole thread is so odd—yes, gender is a societal construct, but instead of exploring how different societies construct it, or why it's constructed like this, you seem to be unequivocally buying in to the current model. do you usually do that?
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I can't not. It occurs subconsciously for me at the level of identifier; I can't force myself to see a tree as a house no matter how good your argument is. I am happy to consciously accept everything else I can around this though!
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If they pass as a guy then I would love for us to get to a point where I can be honest that they read to me as male, yes.
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Other people calling me a woman makes me a woman. I don't really feel like I'm anything; the way I look shapes how people treat me, and this relationship between appearance and treatment seems to be what my gender is.
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I'm not telling them what they are, I'm telling them the gender *I process them as*.
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