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ok I think the thing about genderpeople that *actually* bothers me is that I feel not allowed to use my own gender framework around them. I honestly don't give a shit how they present, how deviant from gender norms they are, whether they wear makeup or a boy cut. (1/6)

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what exactly makes it so pressing for you to vocalize this? do you also feel the need to tell your friends they look like shit if they wear a shirt you wouldn’t? do you have friends

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Yes? I don't usually tell my friends if I think their clothes make them look bad but I do wish I were able to be honest when it comes up.

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lol why though

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I feel closest with someone when we can be fully honest and open about what we're feeling. It's tricky to navigate into this but when it happens I really value it.

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i think it’s really good to value honesty like that! i think there’s a point though where like, you need to assess if it’s really worth hurting someone else though to voice an opinion on something that has nothing to do with you but fully to do with their own identity

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Right - I don't tell people I view them as their birth gender when I meet them in person. I also publicly advocate everybody go along in pretending that people are the genders they want to be. I also express online that I wish I could be honest. So far I'm ok with this.

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Like, as I've mentioned elsewhere I view this as very similar to religion. You can believe something I don't believe and that's fine, I respect your right and will fight for your safety and try to be kind about your beliefs but im also ok not personally believing it.

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you are totally free to think what you think. i think a question i have is what spurs you to vocalize this so publicly? like yes freedom of speech yeah i do get that but like, behind every trans person is a lot of trauma that comes with their identity. with this in mind (1/2)

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surely you would have expected it would upset a lot of people? if you respect them and their identity, why would this not be a topic to be kept private with like friends where people you say you respect don’t have to relive the pain they’ve been through when they see it?

Aella

@Aella_Girl

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@shokupanfan

I mean how do you feel if we use that argument about religion? Btw my family is extremely religious and I definitely cause them pain when I talk about how I'm not religious and I think their beliefs are wrong. Would you advocate that I keep this to myself?

12:28 AM · Apr 7, 2020

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Aella

@Aella_Girl

Apr 7, 2020

No, my analogy is closer to "I process gender a certain way, and they process it a different way". The way I process gender is that it's determined by society; the way they process it is that it's determined individually. I don't mind - you can believe it's an individual thing!

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i think it’s situational. do they believe in things that they attribute to their religion that actively causes harm to others? do they use it to discriminate against others? are these people that deny harm done by certain churches? these are things worth discussing (1/2)