The last few guys I dated would regularly wear women's clothing and I didn't mind at all. I've applied makeup to many of my male friends!
Despite how I look, I'm also pretty deviant, and deeply sympathize with the difficulty of failing to perform the 'correct' gender norms. (2/6)
Conversation
So to reiterate - any expression you want to have with your own body, clothing, mannerism, vocabulary - I welcome it.
But I want to retain ownership over the way gender resonates with me. To me, all that stuff above has very little to do with gender. (3/6)
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To me, expression is independent of gender, and your gender is completely outside of your control; it resides in the eyes of society. Gender *is* an assignment of society. And so when people expect me to view them as a gender I don't view them as, that just does not work.(4/6)
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I can't view them as the gender they want no matter how hard I try.
And to be clear, I still use preferred pronouns and try to do all the least upsetting things for genderpeople. I just am bothered by how afraid I feel to express the way I experience gender. (5/6)
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In my ideal world, they would say "Hey, my pronouns are they/them", and then I'd say "Nice to meet you! I process your gender as your birth sex and don't view you as nonbinary personally, but I'm happy to use your pronouns if that makes you more comfortable." (6/6)
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I don't process gender identity as defined by the person. My gender identity belongs entirely in the perception of those around me.
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I don't do it in person, because I want to be nice. I just wish I could also be honest.
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I don't want to hurt people, I want to be honest. Sometimes being honest is hurtful, which is a hard position to be in. Hurting people is absolutely not my goal, idk why you think it is. It's an unfortunate side effect of something else I also value.
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