But my brain is like 'Oh, they pattern-match onto 'takes actions to be around other people a lot'", and I can't *un*match that pattern just because they tell me they're different. I don't have control over that level of processing the world.
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A lot of what I write about is the subtle ways we believe things about ourselves to be true that aren't really consistent - about ways society gives us stories that we internalize, about frameworks that we identify with in ways that lock us into stasis.
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So my strategy is something like - Broadly, believe that people believe what they say they believe. Believe that their internal framework feels alive and real to them. Treat that with respect. And also, never stop questioning it.
End of conversation
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Definitely true that both extremes are bad. I skew toward trust on this issue, but as with a lot of things a big part of getting the balance right is sample size. The more individuals I hear from on the subject, the better I get at calibrating.
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“Asking me to accept nonbinary people’s gender identities is basically like Trump.” That’s a scorching hot one right there.
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