So to reiterate - any expression you want to have with your own body, clothing, mannerism, vocabulary - I welcome it. But I want to retain ownership over the way gender resonates with me. To me, all that stuff above has very little to do with gender. (3/6)
I don't have a particular desire around it, I just notice that my brain isn't updating based on the information. Some assumptions do update over time! But the gender thing feels like it belongs in a special category, very close to the way identifying objects feels.
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As in; the part of my brain that does "Oh, that is not a tree, that is a house" feels like it's the part that's doing gender, for me. And you can tell me the house is a tree and I can try very hard to accept this but I don't have conscious access to my perception in this regard.
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I've mostly come to suspect that different people have super different processes around gender, and probably have very different associations with that word. Likely gender for some other people does not lie in the same part of their processing that it does for me.
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It definitely takes time to cast off some of the things we grew up with. I spent a long time, when I met a trans non-binary person, subconsciously thinking about how they must have looked before transitioning. I sympathize with that being a difficult abd slow process.
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The distinction comes between whether it's a frustrating process that we're still working on or one that we've decided NOT to do. I got the impression from your original thread that you were in the latter camp.
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