ok I think the thing about genderpeople that *actually* bothers me is that I feel not allowed to use my own gender framework around them. I honestly don't give a shit how they present, how deviant from gender norms they are, whether they wear makeup or a boy cut. (1/6)
But my brain is like 'Oh, they pattern-match onto 'takes actions to be around other people a lot'", and I can't *un*match that pattern just because they tell me they're different. I don't have control over that level of processing the world.
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I understand it taking a while to make the adjustment - when I learn things about people I've known for a while that correct an assumption I had, I don't necessarily collate it right away. But I also don't reject it, which is what it sounds like you want to do.
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I don't have a particular desire around it, I just notice that my brain isn't updating based on the information. Some assumptions do update over time! But the gender thing feels like it belongs in a special category, very close to the way identifying objects feels.
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Oddly, you DO. That’s the thing. Emotional intelligence and empathy can be learned, like any other skill.
Thanks. Twitter will use this to make your timeline better. UndoUndo
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