Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
ok I think the thing about genderpeople that *actually* bothers me is that I feel not allowed to use my own gender framework around them. I honestly don't give a shit how they present, how deviant from gender norms they are, whether they wear makeup or a boy cut. (1/6)
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
The last few guys I dated would regularly wear women's clothing and I didn't mind at all. I've applied makeup to many of my male friends! Despite how I look, I'm also pretty deviant, and deeply sympathize with the difficulty of failing to perform the 'correct' gender norms. (2/6)
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
So to reiterate - any expression you want to have with your own body, clothing, mannerism, vocabulary - I welcome it. But I want to retain ownership over the way gender resonates with me. To me, all that stuff above has very little to do with gender. (3/6)
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
To me, expression is independent of gender, and your gender is completely outside of your control; it resides in the eyes of society. Gender *is* an assignment of society. And so when people expect me to view them as a gender I don't view them as, that just does not work.(4/6)
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Iris
@rainbow__mess
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
and
@sierra_rebecca
It seems to me like you're processing the gender of other people as being solely how they are viewed by you - basically as performative gender, but just for you. would it be possible to think of others as expressing their gender for themselves, and teaching you that expression?
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