ok I think the thing about genderpeople that *actually* bothers me is that I feel not allowed to use my own gender framework around them. I honestly don't give a shit how they present, how deviant from gender norms they are, whether they wear makeup or a boy cut. (1/6)
Definitely. But I do feel actively afraid of being honest with almost all the genderpeople I've met about the way I view them and how I don't really want to do the pronouns thing but I will if it makes them happy.
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I mean its understandable for a marginalized group barely at the cusp of acceptance to be hypersensitive to having their identity seen as a burden to people they care about. I think it comes from always having to be vigilant for scraps of allyship among a sea of potential dangers
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I do get though, that there's a balancing act between making your friends comfortable and honoring your own ideological frameworks and epistemic hygiene. It's something I've had to contend with as well. The proper calculation is different for everyone.
End of conversation
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