ok I think the thing about genderpeople that *actually* bothers me is that I feel not allowed to use my own gender framework around them. I honestly don't give a shit how they present, how deviant from gender norms they are, whether they wear makeup or a boy cut. (1/6)
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The last few guys I dated would regularly wear women's clothing and I didn't mind at all. I've applied makeup to many of my male friends! Despite how I look, I'm also pretty deviant, and deeply sympathize with the difficulty of failing to perform the 'correct' gender norms. (2/6)
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So to reiterate - any expression you want to have with your own body, clothing, mannerism, vocabulary - I welcome it. But I want to retain ownership over the way gender resonates with me. To me, all that stuff above has very little to do with gender. (3/6)
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To me, expression is independent of gender, and your gender is completely outside of your control; it resides in the eyes of society. Gender *is* an assignment of society. And so when people expect me to view them as a gender I don't view them as, that just does not work.(4/6)
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I can't view them as the gender they want no matter how hard I try. And to be clear, I still use preferred pronouns and try to do all the least upsetting things for genderpeople. I just am bothered by how afraid I feel to express the way I experience gender. (5/6)
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In my ideal world, they would say "Hey, my pronouns are they/them", and then I'd say "Nice to meet you! I process your gender as your birth sex and don't view you as nonbinary personally, but I'm happy to use your pronouns if that makes you more comfortable." (6/6)
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Replying to @Aella_Girl
Cool, you do you. But how will you vote? What rights will you advocate for?
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Replying to @digitallydreamy
Similar to religion. I want religions to have the right to exist, believe what they believe, and I support steps to protect them from discrimination, hate crimes, or social rejection.
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I view the neo-gender-framework deal to be analagous to religion; it's a deeply personal and important belief system to people, it affects their sense of identity and belonging, and I personally don't believe in it but I accept people who do.
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Replying to @Aella_Girl
Ironically enough, I see your framework (and gender in general) as analogous to religion as well in that it's rooted in ancestral traditional observations about the world and enduring as a social construct, resistant to new evidence or ways of conceptualizing.
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