I don't understand when people say "This doesn't happen" in regards to people taking advantage of cultural norms. Like, how can you say false rape accusations don't happen? There will always be a type of person who figures out ways to take advantage of any norm, no matter how-
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"This doesn't happen" is a colloquial way of characterizing something as fairly inconsequential relative to the implied risk.
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it's also a great way of guaranteeing that anybody who experiences an exception to your rule will never trust you again
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This is really just “there ain’t no such thing as a free lunch” where the costs are more ethical than financial and yet this version is so much harder for people to understand
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Our culture and media have created a vicious circle where people are not taught to understand nuance, nuance is used as a dog-whistle for bigotry, and nice people avoid using nuance to express their ideas. It's a tragedy.
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There will always be those who game the system, and I think all allegations need to be investigated, regardless of who makes them.
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Think of life as an MMO RPG: The people who say stuff like that are the RPers trying to keep their faction allegiance at max by always picking the dialog option that gives them the most loyalty points.
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The idea that one group is bad leaves a huge blind spot. I remember reading (for example) Porp's description of how it was to be a trans woman being abused by other trans women at a shelter and feeling just so confused, because like, they were supposed to be the good guys.
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"People can be selfish and might abuse whatever power they are given" seems like a much better model to explain what's going on.
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Or that we should be much more careful and thoughtful about our rules...i don't think "assume this person is telling the whole truth and nothing but the truth based on their identity" is a good rule....
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Rules that don't bend, break.
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