Conversation

Aella
@Aella_Girl
"I'm not like that" is a spectrum with two sides and I don't know how to evaluate it. For example: When I was younger, I didn't like romcoms. I wasn't a person who liked it; I was "an intellectual". Of course I eventually matured a bit and figured out I did indeed like romcoms.-
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
Also, when I was younger, I had trouble connecting with friends. I was "extremely introverted"; I joked about living on a deserted island. I didn't like talking with people. Of course I eventually matured a bit and figured out I did indeed like people- just kidding, no. But I did
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
find a meetup group with a specific nerd subculture and found that with them, my introversion went away. I wanted to be around them all the time. I felt good talking to them. I could socialize for hours. I realized my "introversion" was just difficulty connecting with-
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
most of the people around me, and my preferences totaly changed if my environment shifted just right. So on one hand I had a preference (no romcoms) that was a result of a careful sense of identity; on the other hand I had a preference that was a legit reflection of a weird brain
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
When I have strong or odd preferences now (liking a specific person, messy/cleanness, noise level preferences, food tastes, etc.), I have a really hard time telling if my drive is closer to the romcom side or the weird nerd subculture side.
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Aella
@Aella_Girl
as in; I don't know if I should actually try to stretch my preferences to see if that works - because how do I know when to stretch? How would I have known, as an introvert, when to stop trying to push into extroversion and instead switch to looking for a different environment?
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Apoxyomenos
@Mr_Apoxyomenos
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
We're conditioned to take sides since we're little. *what's your favourite animal/colour/etc?" Most of us are in the middle, but we're forced to the extremes. If you're not, you're deemed wishy-washy, or don't have a label. Just look at politics.
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Peasant-Elect, Pay Tree Arch
@paytreearch
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
I have a hypothesis that extroversion correlates with optimism regarding strangers. i.e. - "New people, what an opportunity!" While introversion correlates with pessimism regarding strangers - "Ugh, new people. Now I have to try to impress them or else they won't like me."
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jq78R [340-342😴]
@Jq78R
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
If their greater values are close to yours, I would lean toward stretch. If their greater values may lead them down a bad path (for me, e.g. high time preference), maybe avoid. Just a litmus.
Killus Canadius
@K_Space2726
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
You stop when you no longer see a goal that'll keep you going. When you have to ask "why am I doing this again?", you've hit the end. Stretching yourself in an attempt to try something new is necessary and, ultimately, healthy and exxiting, but going too far is a waste of time.
Buttons McBoomboom
@Sandwich_Smith
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
You just have to rely on your own honesty w/ yourself to determine whether it's working or not. And that can work both ways. Don't stick w/ something that you know deep down isn't working but you think you "ought" to do it. And don't pass on something that requires a bit of work.
Kyle
@serptopia
Replying to
@Aella_Girl
A good starting litmus test IMO, might be to ask yourself "What if I became like that?" If it bothers you that you could ever become "like that" then there's probably an identity element to it. You can also try to catch yourself asking "What would people say?"
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